BABYBOY:
a less common title for a male submissive. This is the male counterpart to a babygirl.

See related contrast BABYGIRL.



BABYGIRL:
a title for a submissive female. A babygirl is usually the submissive of a dominant who takes on the role or title of a daddy. Sometimes the title is used specifically in age play.



BALLBUSTER:
a person who inflicts pain on a male's testicles.





BALLBUSTING:
any form of torture applied to the testicles of a male, inflicting pain on the testicles or scrotum.


See COCK AND BALL TORTURE (CBT).



BALL GAG:
a gag featuring a ball that is placed in the mouth and held securely by a strap. The balls come in many different sizes and are usually made of rubber or silicone.





BALL HOOD:
a type of hood containing inflatable bladders designed to expand and exert pressure on the wearer's face. It is often used as a form of sensory deprivation, rendering a person unable to see or hear. For some, the tight pressure against the face can be an extreme form of bondage. Breathing is accomplished through a small tube in the hood.





BALL TIE:
a specific form of bondage in which a person is bound into a ball-like position, with the knees pressed tightly to the chest. A complete ball tie typically includes the ankles bound to the thighs, with the hands bound behind the back or to the ankles. This form of bondage should not be used for extended periods, and the bound individual must be monitored closely for signs of numbness or distress.





BALLET BOOTS (BONDAGE BOOTS):
a pair of very high-heeled boots designed so that the wearer must stand on the tips of their toes rather than the soles of their feet, often featuring a locking strap. It requires a considerable amount of training to walk or even stand in these boots without assistance.





BANDAGE SCISSORS:   see EMT SCISSORS.



BAREBACK:
the act of intentionally having anal or vaginal sexual intercourse without using a condom.



BASTINADO:
play involving the infliction of pain on the soles of the feet, typically by striking them with a cane, rod, or paddle. Sometimes a dominant will strike a partner’s feet before ending a session, causing them to limp away. This technique is designed so that the physical reminder of the play continues after the session has ended.





BBC:
an acronym meaning big Black cock. Originally a pornography industry category, the term is also used within BDSM race play contexts.

See related RACE PLAY.





BBW:
an acronym meaning big, beautiful woman. The term refers to a woman who is larger in weight, height, or body frame. It is also used to describe the sexual preference or fetish for plus-size women, and is occasionally used erroneously to mean big Black woman.

See loosely related PAWG.



BDSM:
an intertwined composite acronym for B&D (bondage & discipline), D&S (dominance & submission), and S&M (sadism & masochism). The acronym has become an umbrella term encompassing various power dynamics, forms of kink, sexual power exchanges, interpersonal relationships, and distinct subcultures. Another historical term that covers a similar spectrum is sadomasochism, often abbreviated as S&M.

See related SADOMASOCHISM.



BDSM ABUSE:
any activity that crosses a participant's hard limits, or any activity that is non-consensual. This includes intentional physical or emotional assault, typically violent in nature, or treating someone in a manner that causes lasting damage or harm. Abuse explicitly occurs when safe words are ignored. Some perpetrators use BDSM dynamics to mask domestic abuse, which often goes unreported due to the victim's fear of having their kinky interests, activities, or lifestyle exposed. Consequently, some predators maliciously exploit these fears to prevent disclosure. Kink-friendly support groups and resources for survivors of this type of abuse are increasingly available.



BDSM COMMUNITY (BDSM SCENE):
all who are involved with BDSM. There are many different social circles, groups, families, houses, factions, and individuals with BDSM interests all over the world. The BDSM community or "scene" is all of these groups combined to make up a subculture. Although the Internet helps keep such social circles in touch, the community as a whole is too vast for blanket statements to apply to everyone involved. Therefore, what is good for some is not always good for everyone, and there is always more to learn about one another.



BDSM EMBLEM / SYMBOL:   see EMBLEM OF BDSM.



BDSM ETIQUETTE:   see ETIQUETTE OF BDSM.



BDSM FAMILY:   see FAMILY.



BDSM HOUSE:   see HOUSE.



BDSM PORNOGRAPHY (FETISH PORN):
adult writing, drawings, photographs, or films (digital movies) of people engaged in BDSM, usually but not always accompanied by graphic depictions of sexual acts. The true definition of pornography is that it has no artistic value other than to stimulate sexual desire. However, today, more people are starting to view certain erotic adult content as art. Often, producers of adult films containing BDSM content choose to use professional porn stars for their appearance and adult film sex experience, rather than their BDSM experience. This is why unsafe practices can sometimes be found in adult films, such as unsafe rigging or bondage, as well as impact play where the dominant strikes unsafe areas of the body. This might be why some BDSM communities view fetish porn as distasteful or a loathsome depiction of BDSM. As the internet becomes increasingly saturated with erotic depictions of BDSM acts by people with actual BDSM experience and knowledge, acceptance of fetish porn increases, with more people regarding it as an art form.



BDSM WORLD:
a term for a group or groups of people who partake in or have an interest in BDSM, making up the many social circles and communities, or the BDSM community as a whole; it is the opposite of the vanilla world.

See BDSM COMMUNITY.



BEAR:
a slang term that refers to members of a subculture in the leather and homosexual communities, sometimes used to describe a hairy, dominant gay male.





BEAR'S PAW:
a glove used in sensation play that has metal or hard plastic spikes (claws) at the end of each finger, resembling a bear's paw.





BEATER (CARPET BEATER or RUG BEATER):
an implement made of cable, plastic-coated wire, leather, or wicker in the form of several integrated loops, which sometimes form intricate Celtic-type designs, used for striking. It is sometimes made of just two coated cables, one supporting the other, similar to a cable loop. Much like most BDSM devices, its origins date back to common household items; in this case, the device is fashioned after a common rug beater used to clean carpets. A beater is considered a high-impact implement. Beaters made of heavy cable or wire can leave a welt and cause serious bruising with little force. If not used carefully, the implement can easily bruise vital organs such as the kidneys, and a strike against the tailbone can cause damage to the spine. Great care should be given to some of the heavier fashioned carpet beaters.

See related CABLE LOOP.





BELL DANCING:
the practice of attaching small bells to the skin through the use of temporary piercings.



BELTING (BELT PLAY):
engaging in striking a person with a belt as a form of punishment play.





BEN WA BALLS:
small, marble-sized balls containing small internal weights that roll around, used for sexual stimulation by insertion into the vagina or anus. When a person moves, the balls tease, but they do not necessarily bring a person to orgasm. Ben Wa balls are also sometimes used as an exercise device to help with Kegel exercises, focusing on tightening a person's pelvic floor muscles. Today, most Ben Wa balls are connected with a string or cord, which is the only kind recommended for anal play. The manufacturer's directions should be checked before use to ensure recommended safe practices.





BERKLEY HORSE:
also known as a chevalet (French for easel); a type of bondage furniture in which a person is bound to a bench. The Berkley horse can be elevated, rotated, or moved into almost any position for comfortable flagellation. There are openings so that a person's genitalia can be exposed for access by a dominant or an assistant. Invented in London by pro-domme Theresa Berkley in 1828, the flogging machine gained notoriety with the publication of memoirs detailing her establishment, which included a print of a naked man bound to the machine with a woman sitting in a chair directly underneath it.





BESTIALITY (BEASTIALITY also ZOOPHILIA):
the practice of having sex with animals, or the fixation on such a practice; considered very dangerous.



BETA SUB (SECOND SUB):
also known as the sister or brother submissive or slave, who not only serves the master but also serves the alpha sub, who in turn serves the master. A structured hierarchy among submissives in a BDSM house or family, or in any relationship involving more than one submissive, a beta sub is the lower-level submissive, subservient not only to the master but also to the alpha sub. Many believe that even though the role of beta sub has a lower stature than the alpha sub, it is an equally vital role to the family structure. In many ways, the beta sub in the context of BDSM play has a role held in higher regard as it relates to the dynamic of submission to the master. The beta or second sub is equivalent to a second wife in many societies. Not all relationships that involve more than one submissive include the role of a beta sub.

See related ALPHA SUB.



BIRCH ROD:
a bundle of leafless branches, usually but not always birch tree branches, bound together by twine to make an implement for administering corporal punishment. The birch rod has been around for centuries, with its first recorded use in the year 1440. Not an actual single rod at all, it was originally simply the twigs bundled together to make a primitive broom or duster found in every kitchen of the time. The saying, "spare the rod, spoil the child," refers to the birch rod. Often the twigs were first soaked in brine, a heavily salted solution, prior to use for the purposes of adding an extra sting when breaking the skin as well as preventing infections. Soaking the branches also gave them extra weight, flexibility, and strength. The practice of birching was to bare a person's buttocks, most often in public view, and flog that person several times with the twigs, often until blood flowed from the wounds. Birching was the common form of corporal punishment, predating the cane, in British schools. Most schools included the cost of several birch rods in their tuition fees. Eighteenth and 19th-century school children were often birched for minor infractions. In the early 18th century, there were many services available for those who were too softhearted to birch their own female offspring. Throughout Europe, birching was a legal judicial punishment, practiced up until 1948. On the Isle of Man, the last recorded use of the birch rod on prisoners was in 1976. During the Victorian era, it was commonly considered a healthy practice for men to birch their wives for what they considered minor infractions. Though elaborate feather dusters became available for dusting the house, often the primitive birch rod still hung on the wall as a reminder for a woman to behave as a lady. The birch rod may be best known in recent times as a tool used in sadomasochism. It is said that during the Marquis de Sade's lifetime, he often instructed his servants to birch him while he masturbated. Several of his works included illustrations of the birch rod. However, use of the birch rod for sexual gratification predates de Sade. In ancient times (the 8th century BC), Germanic tribes used birching to wake up fertility in women. It was believed that birching a woman prior to sex brought about extreme sexual arousal and increased the chances of pregnancy. Throughout European history, it was not uncommon to see a wealthy gentleman enter a brothel with a birch rod in hand.





BIRCHING:
corporal punishment with a birch rod, typically applied to a person's bare buttocks or back. The term birching sometimes refers to stripping a person of their clothes and then striking them with a birch rod in public view.

See BIRCH ROD.





BIRCHING DONKEY (BIRCHING PONY):
similar to a modern spanking horse; a piece of bondage furniture over which a person is bent, positioning them comfortably for flagellation.

See related HORSE.





BIRCHING TABLE:
a piece of bondage furniture originating from Scotland, featuring two holes for the arms and a strap that fastens around the waist to bind a person for birching.





BISEXUAL:
a person who is sexually attracted to both men and women.



BIT GAG:   see MOUTH BIT.



BITING PLAY:
play sessions that involve biting.



BLACKLIST (BLACKBALL):
the act of disallowing a person from engaging in BDSM activities or attending BDSM functions, usually because they committed a major breach of BDSM etiquette. A person who is blacklisted has a very bad reputation in certain BDSM circles, often because they showed a lack of concern for safety while playing or have been suspected of abuse. Blacklisting can be an effective way to prevent those who intentionally or recklessly cause harm from doing so again. However, a person is sometimes unjustly blacklisted due to false allegations of abuse by a scornful ex or a spiteful acquaintance. When this happens, it makes it very difficult for a BDSM group to police itself.

See related BDSM ABUSE.



BLACK SHEET PARTY:
an orgy sex party for people who have BDSM interests.



BLACK SPOT:
a code used when a submissive ends a Total Power Exchange (TPE) relationship, thereby terminating a master/slave contract. It represents a mechanism ensuring a consensual non-consent relationship remains consensual by affirming that the submissive maintains the ability to end the relationship at any given time. The name is taken from the book Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson, in which characters hand their captain a piece of paper with a black spot, signaling that he has been voted out as captain.

See related CONSENSUAL NON-CONSENT and SAFEWORD.



BLADING:
an uncommon term for knife play. Blading can be dangerous and is considered edgeplay.

See KNIFE PLAY.





BLINDFOLD (BLINDFOLD MASK):
a garment tied to the head to cover the eyes and disable the wearer's sight.





BLOOD KNOT (BARREL KNOT):
a knot containing either two or three strands that allows the rope to travel true and straight after the knot, typically tied at the end of a whip or flogger's lash for the purpose of breaking skin and causing pain. It is most often associated with the cat-o'-nine-tails rope flogger or a scourge.

See related CAT-O'-NINE-TAILS and SCOURGE.





BLOOD PLAY (BLOOD SPORTS or VAMPIRISM):
any activity that involves drawing blood. Needle play, knife play, cutting, scarification, body suspension hooks, and purposely whipping a submissive until blood is drawn are just a few of the many forms of blood play. Blood sports are considered edgeplay and carry significant risk, including the potential transmission of HIV and other diseases. The term "blood sports" may also refer to sexual acts during menstruation.





BODY BAG:
a form of mummification consisting of a long, heavy bag made of dense canvas or leather that fits snugly and is used to restrain the person wearing it. It is sometimes referred to as a sleepsack and is distinct from the loose-fitting bag of the same name used to transport a human corpse.

See related MUMMIFICATION and SLEEPSACK.





BODY DYSPHORIA:
a psychological state or perception characterized by the idea that an aspect of a person's own body is severely flawed to the point of obsession, causing an extreme dislike of one's own appearance. The reason it is mentioned in a BDSM glossary is that forms of body dysphoria are among the most common triggers for past trauma or abuse. BDSM play, such as the humiliation of a person's body, can trigger a flashback to prior abuse. Body dysphoria can be part of an even more serious disorder called Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD), which causes extreme anxiety and depression and can lead to eating disorders such as anorexia or bulimia. The term also commonly refers to a person who feels they were born the wrong sex and wishes to transition to their preferred sex.



BODY HARNESS:
a harness made of straps, usually leather, that is worn around the torso.





BODY MODIFICATION:
any altering of the body, usually in the context of marking a submissive. The more permanent, extreme forms of marking, such as branding, scarification, tattooing, or body piercing, should be consensual, even in consensual non-consent relationships.





BODY SUSPENSION (HOOK SUSPENSION or SUSPENSION):
the complete suspension of a human body from thick steel hooks that have been pierced through a person’s flesh and then attached to ropes or wires. These piercings are temporary and are performed just prior to the actual suspension. The practice can be very painful and is dangerous if not done by a skilled and experienced rigger. Body suspension is often simply called suspension, which is sometimes confused with rope suspension that does not involve hooks. Hook suspension is considered hardcore edgeplay and may be found at some fetish events, serving as a practice to experience as well as a form of performance art.





BODY SUSPENSION HOOKS (FLESH HOOKS or MEAT HOOKS):
thick steel hook designed to pierce a person's flesh for use in body suspension.





BODY WORSHIP:
the act of giving lavish attention to a part of the body; a practice through which a submissive worships a particular part or parts of a dominant's anatomy.



BOI (BOY):
a title for a person who presents themselves in a young, boyish way, and is usually, but not always, submissive. In the lesbian community, it is often a name given to a young, transgender, androgynous masculine person who is biologically female and presents themselves in a young, boyish manner. The term also refers simply to a male submissive.



BONDAGE:
a broad term for any use of restraints to immobilize a person for the purpose of sexual pleasure, roleplay, and/or flagellation. There are many forms of bondage, just as there are many different ways to immobilize a person. The term can also refer to the state of being a slave, or being greatly constrained by circumstances or obligations. In BDSM, bondage is a term used for roleplay (pretend) only, in that a person can free themselves from any kind of bondage at will.





BONDAGE BELT:
a belt worn around the waist and used to restrain a person, typically made of leather and containing straps and/or O-rings.





BONDAGE BUNNY:
a person who craves and enjoys being restrained and bound.



BONDAGE CAGE:
any cage that confines a person. Bondage cages are often made of hardened steel. Often, these cages are tall and slender to prevent a person from lying down, or long and short to prevent them from standing. Some people erroneously use the term bondage cage to refer to a chastity cage.

See unrelated CHASTITY CAGE.





BONDAGE MITT:
leather or canvas fingerless gloves (mittens) worn over the hands and secured with straps and locking cuffs. Bondage mittens prevent the wearer from having use of their hands.





BONDAGE SAFETY TIE/KNOT (ONE-COLUMN SAFETY TIE/KNOT):
any knot that uses reverse tension to prevent the tie from tightening on itself once it is tied. A bondage rope tie that helps prevent cutting off a person's circulation.

See related LARK'S HEAD KNOT and ONE COLUMN TIE.





BONDAGE TAPE:
tape that sticks to itself but not to other surfaces, such as a person's skin or clothing.





BOOT BLACKING:
a ritual in which a person displays submission to a dominant by polishing the dominant's shoes or boots. Sometimes used as a gesture of submission to mark the beginning of a BDSM session. A common practice in the BDSM leather community.

See related LEATHER COMMUNITY.



BOOT BOY:
a male submissive who engages in boot worship or boot blacking.



BOOT WORSHIP:
a type of shoe fetish centered on boots.



BOTTOM:
title for a person who is on the receiving end of any sort of BDSM play; also, a person who is submissive to another in a sexual role-play. The opposite of the top (the person giving the floggings or spankings). This term refers to the physical aspect only. Not to be confused with a submissive (title) who has surrendered psychological control to a dominant. For many, both terms bottom and submissive have become interchangeable in recent times, so that the term bottom has become just another general term for a submissive and vice versa.



BOTTOM DROP:
a temporary feeling of melancholy in a submissive, which can occasionally occur in some people immediately after a BDSM session or activity. Some sessions can be intense, both physically and emotionally, and sometimes the sudden reduction of endorphins in the brain can cause feelings of depression. For some, guilt about exposing their emotions during the session can be overwhelming, especially if the session took place in front of others or a crowd. Also, for some people, the long anticipation prior to a session, followed by the sudden end to the experience, can leave them with feelings of disappointment that the anticipation has ended.



BOTTOM SPACE:   see SUBSPACE.



BOTTOMING FROM THE TOP:
a term for an action in which the dominant of a session allows the submissive to be completely in charge, giving control of events taking place to the submissive. This can be confusing because, in actuality, limits have been set and negotiated before a session. Depending on your viewpoint, real control belongs to the submissive anyway. However, this control is in the general sense of giving consent to a dominant to take charge. The submissive's control usually stops there, apart from "safewording" or ending a session. When lines get blurred between top and bottom, it can be very confusing to determine who is really in charge of a session or relationship. This can sometimes cause problems, increasing the chance of accidents. Though some who engage in power exchange relationships use the term loosely to describe the act of switching roles during play, the term bottoming from the top usually references a dominant who takes on the role of top during a session and then lets the bottom direct and control the session. The term bottoming from the top is most often used as a derogatory term toward a dominant who lacks the skills to keep their submissive from taking control during play. Bottoming from the top is a term that directs focus on the actions (or inactions) of the dominant during a session, similar to topping from the bottom, which is a term focused on the actions of the submissive during a session.

See related contrast TOPPING FROM THE BOTTOM.



BOUNDRIES:   see LIMIT or HARD LIMIT.



BOX TIE:
a form of bondage, similar to an arm tie, in which a person's arms form a box and all parts support each other. It takes the pressure off the joints. Thus, this tie, when done properly, can allow a person to have their arms tied behind their back for an extended period of time.





BRAIN FADE:
a state of confusion sometimes experienced by a submissive during a play session.



BRANDING:
a form of body modification that uses a heated metal object to brand a person's skin, which leaves a permanent mark in the form of a scar. Sometimes a way for a dominant to "mark" his submissive inside a BDSM relationship in Master/slave play. This practice can cause serious injury and should be considered very dangerous. The use of dry ice to create a cold brand has grown in popularity. Both hot branding and cold branding can be dangerous. Marking someone in Master/slave role-play is sometimes seen as controversial because, unlike tattoo markings, branding is a form of body modification that cannot easily be covered up should the relationship end.

See BODY MODIFICATION.



BRAT (SMART-ASS MASOCHIST or SAM):
a term or title, sometimes meant in a derogatory sense, given to a submissive who often provokes a dominant to respond with a punishment by taunting, teasing, misbehaving, or disobeying an order.



BREAST BONDAGE:
a form of bondage involving binding the breasts of a female.





BREAST CLAMP:
a device consisting of two planks or bars with an adjustable mechanism that clamps over the breasts of a female.





BREAST TORTURE:
torture involving the breasts and/or nipples.





BREATH CONTROL PLAY:
any practice in which a person's breathing is constricted, interrupted, made difficult, or in some way controlled by another. Considered edgeplay (dangerous). Breath control play can sometimes refer to simulated throat constriction rather than actually constricting airflow.

See related EROTIC ASPHYXIATION.





BREEDING FETISH:
a fetish centered on a fixation with impregnating a female.



BUCK HAMMER:
a medical instrument used to test reflexes. The head of the instrument is made of rubber but can be replaced with a small metal needle or brush, and it is used to test neurological function. The buck hammer can be a great tool for sensation play.





BUG ZAPPER (INSECT PADDLE or ELECTRIC PADDLE):
a common battery-operated electrical device shaped like a paddle or tennis racket, used to kill flying insects. This device is also commonly used in BDSM for electrical play, delivering a small jolt of electricity to the skin. The device is so commonly used for BDSM that it is often sold in stores that sell BDSM toys or gear.

See ELECTRICAL PLAY.





BUGGY WHIP (COACHWHIP):
a whip created to strike horses while driving a horse-drawn carriage. It has a long, flexible shaft and a short single lash. Similar to a lunge whip, which has a long single lash. At the end of the lash is often a cracker.

See related LUNGE WHIP.





BUKKAKE:
a sexual practice in which a large number of men masturbate and ejaculate onto a person. Originating in Japan, from the Japanese word meaning "to splash water." It is believed that the practice originated because of censorship of Japanese pornography. According to Japanese law, penetration could not be shown, yet there was no censorship of semen, which created a loophole for harder sex scenes.





BULL:
refers to a dominant male in a cuckoldry sexual exchange. When a cuckold male shares his female partner with other males, the other males are referred to as bulls. The term may also simply refer to any well-endowed male.

See related CUCKOLDRY.



BULLWHIP:
the most popular single-tail whip, consisting of a rigid spike handle connected to a braided thong that tapers to a fall hitch, a fall, and a cracker.





BUTCH:
a term for a masculine female or a description of a lesbian's sensibilities or behavior. It is sometimes used as a derogatory term.



BUTT PLUG:
a sex toy used for anal stimulation, usually short in length, consisting of a flared head and a narrow neck before the base that is designed to remain in the anus until removed. It is sometimes used in anal training as a way of expanding the anus in preparation for intercourse. There are many different types and sizes available.





BUTTERFLY CHAIR:
a piece of furniture that resembles a chair, featuring two planks for securing the legs. The planks can be rotated to spread the bound legs apart.





BUTTON PUSHING:   see TRIGGERS.



BWC:
an acronym meaning big White cock. It is a less popular pornographic term than "BBC" or the "BBC fetish," and it is most often used in conjunction with BBC. There is not as much of an assumption that Caucasian males have an exceptionally large penis; however, the term BWC has been increasingly used on BDSM social networking sites such as FetLife.

See related contrast BBC.










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