BABYBOY:
a less common title for a male submissive.  The male version of a babygirl.

See related contrast BABYGIRL.



BABYGIRL:
a title for a submissive female.  A babygirl is usually the submissive of a dominant who takes on the role/title of a daddy.  Sometimes the title babygirl is used in age play.



BALLBUSTER:
a person who engages in inflicting pain on a male's testicles.





BALLBUSTING:
any form of torture applied to the testicles of a male, inflicting pain on the testicles or scrotum.


See COCK AND BALL TORTURE (CBT).



BALL GAG:
a gag with a ball that is placed in the mouth and held securely by a strap.  There are many different sized balls, usually made of rubber.





BALL HOOD:
a type of hood containing bladders designed to inflate, causing pressure on the wearer's face.  Often used as a form of sensory deprivation, rendering a person unable to see or hear.  For some, the tight air pressure against a person's face can be an extreme form of bondage.  Breathing is accomplished through a small tube in the hood.





BALL TIE:
a specific form of bondage in which a person is bound into a ball-like position, with knees pressed to the chest.  A complete ball tie would also include ankles bound to thighs, with hands bound behind the back or to the ankles.  This form of bondage should not be used for extended periods, and a person in this tie should be checked often for signs of numbness or distress.





BALLET BOOTS or BONDAGE BOOTS:
a pair of very high-heeled boots, designed so that the wearer must stand on the ends of her/his toes rather than the soles of her/his feet, usually with a locking strap.  It requires a considerable amount of training to walk in these boots without assistance.





BANDAGE SCISSORS:   see EMT SCISSORS.



BAREBACK:
the act of intentionally having unprotected sexual intercourse without the use of a condom.



BASTINADO:
play involving inflicting pain on the soles of the feet.  Sometimes a dominant will strike a play partner’s feet before ending a session, causing the person to limp away in pain.  A technique designed so that pain from the play continues after the session has ended.





BBC:
an acronym meaning big Black cock.  A porn site term that has been increasingly used in BDSM race play.

See related RACE PLAY.





BBW:
an acronym meaning big, beautiful women.  Refers to a female who is larger in weight and/or height.  The fetish of men who love larger women.  It is also used erroneously to mean big Black women.

See loosely related PAWG.



BDSM:
an intertwined composite acronym for B&D (bondage & discipline); D&S (dominance & submission); and S&M (sadism and masochism).  The acronym BDSM has become the broad term that blankets all D/s activities, forms of kink, sexual power exchanges, interpersonal relationships, and distinct subcultures.  Another common term that covers the spectrum of BDSM is the acronym S&M, meaning sadomasochism (sadism and masochism).

See related SADOMASOCHISM.



BDSM ABUSE:
any activity that crosses a participant's hard limit, or any activity that is NOT consensual.  A non-consensual act or an intentional assault, either physically or emotionally, usually violent in nature.  Treating someone in such a way as to cause them damage or harm.  When safe words are ignored.  There are those who have used BDSM to mask domestic abuse.  Sadly, many times the abuse goes unreported due to the victim's fear of having her/his BDSM interest, activities, or lifestyle exposed.  Even sadder, there are those who have maliciously set out to prey on such fears.  Kink friendly support groups for those who have been victimized by abuse are increasing in numbers.



BDSM COMMUNITY or BDSM SCENE:
all who are involved with BDSM.  There are many different social circles, groups, families, houses, factions, and individuals with BDSM interests all over the world.  The BDSM community or "scene" is all of these groups of people combined to make up a subculture.  It should be noted that the community has become rather large.  Though the Internet helps keep such social circles in touch with each other, the BDSM community as a whole is still too vast to make blanket statements for everyone involved.  That is why it is always good to remember that what is good for some people is not always good for everyone who is involved with BDSM, and there is always more for us to learn about one another.



BDSM EMBLEM or SYMBOL:   see EMBLEM OF BDSM.



BDSM ETIQUETTE:   see ETIQUETTE OF BDSM.



BDSM FAMILY:   see FAMILY.



BDSM HOUSE:   see HOUSE.



BDSM PORNOGRAPHY or FETISH PORN:
adult writing, drawings, photographs, or films (digital movies), of people engaged in BDSM, usually but not always accompanied by graphic depictions of sexual acts.  The true definition of pornography is that it has no artistic value other than to stimulate sexual desire.  However, today, more and more people are starting to view certain erotic adult content as art.  Often, producers of adult films containing BDSM content choose to use professional porn stars for their appearance and adult film sex experience, rather than their BDSM experience.  This is why you may sometimes find unsafe practices in some adult films, such as unsafe rigging or bondage, as well as impact play where the dominant strikes in unsafe areas of the body.  This might be why some BDSM communities or circles view fetish porn as distasteful or a loathsome depiction of BDSM.  As the Internet becomes increasingly saturated with erotic depictions of BDSM acts by people with actual BDSM experience and knowledge, so too does the acceptance of fetish porn increase, with increasing numbers of people regarding it as an art form.



BDSM WORLD:
a term for a group or groups of people who partake in or have interest in BDSM, making up the many social circles and communities, or the one BDSM community as a whole, the opposite of the vanilla world.

See BDSM COMMUNITY.



BEAR:
a slang term that refers to members of a subculture in the leather and homosexual communities.  Sometimes a term for a hairy, dominant gay male.





BEAR'S PAW:
a glove, used in sensation play, which has metal or hard plastic spikes (claws) at the end of each finger, resembling a bear's paw.





BEATER or CARPET BEATER or RUG BEATER:
an implement made of cable, wire coated with plastic, leather, or wood wicker, in the form of several integrated loops, sometimes making intricate Celtic type designs.  Used for striking.  It is sometimes made of just two coated cables, one supporting the other, similar to a cable loop.  Much like most BDSM devices, its origins date back to common household items.  In this case, the device is fashioned after a common rug beater used to clean carpet.  A beater is considered to be a high impact implement.  The beaters made of heavy cable or wire can leave a welt and can cause serious bruising with little force.  If not used carefully, it can easily bruise vital organs such as kidneys.  A strike against the tail bone can cause damage to a person's spine.  Great care should be given to the use of these type devices.

See related CABLE LOOP.





BELL DANCING:
the practice of attaching small bells to the skin with use of temporary piercings.



BELTING or BELT PLAY:
engaging in striking a person with a belt as a form of punishment play.





BEN WA BALLS:
small, marble-sized balls containing small weights inside that roll around, used for sexual stimulation by insertion into the vagina or anus.  When a person moves around, the Ben Wa balls tease, but they do not necessarily bring a person to orgasm.  Ben Wa balls are also sometimes used as an exercise device to help with Kegel exercises, with the focus on tightening a person's pelvic floor muscles. Today, most Ben Wa balls are connected together with a string or cord, which are the only kind recommended for anal play.  You should check the box or directions of the device before using for recommended safe use.





BERKLEY HORSE:
also known as a chevalet (French for easel); a type of bondage furniture in which a person is bound to a bench.  The Berkley horse can be elevated, rotated, or moved into almost any position for comfortable flagellation.  There are openings so that a person's genitalia can be exposed for access by a dominant or an assistant.  Invented in London by Pro-Domme Theresa Berkley in 1828, the flogging machine gained notoriety with the publication of her memoirs, in which there was a print of a naked man with a woman sitting in a chair exactly under it.





BESTIALITY or BEASTIALITY also ZOOPHILIA:
the practice of having sex with animals, or the fixation on such practice.  Considered to be very dangerous.



BETA SUB or SECOND SUB:
also known as the sister or brother submissive or slave, who not only serves the master but also serves the alpha sub, who also in turn serves the master.  A structured hierarchy among submissives in a BDSM house or family, or in any relationship involving more than one submissive.  A beta sub is the lower level submissive, subservient not only to the master but also to the alpha sub.  Many believe that even though the role of beta sub has a lower stature than the alpha sub, it is an equally vital role to the family structure.  In many ways the beta sub in the context of BDSM play has a role held in higher regard as it relates to the dynamic of submission to the master.  The beta or second sub is equivalent to a second wife in many societies.  Not all relationships that involve more than one submissive include the role of a beta sub.

See related ALPHA SUB.



BIRCH ROD:
a bundle of leafless branches, usually but not always birch tree branches, bound together by twine to make an implement administering corporal punishment.  The birch rod has been around for centuries with its first recorded use in the year 1440.  Not an actual single rod at all, it was originally simply the twigs that were bundled together to make a primitive broom or duster found in every kitchen of the time.  The saying, "spare the rod, spoil the child", is referring to the birch rod.  Often the twigs were first soaked in brine prior to use, a heavily salted solution, for the purposes of adding an extra sting when breaking the skin as well as a preventative to infections.  Soaking the branches also gave them extra weight, flexibility, and strength.  The practice of birching was to bare a person's buttocks, most often in public view, and flog that person several times with the twigs, often until blood flowed from the wounds.  Birching was the common form of corporal punishment, predating the cane, in British schools.  Most schools included in their tuition fees, the cost of several birch rods.  18th and 19th century school children were often birched for minor infractions.  In the early 18th century, there were many services available for those who were too softhearted to birch their own female offspring.  Throughout Europe, birching was a legal judicial punishment, practiced up until 1948.  On the Isle of Man, the last recorded use of the birch rod on prisoners was in 1976.  During the Victorian era, it was commonly considered a healthy practice for men to birch their wives for what they considered minor infractions.  Though elaborate feather dusters became available for dusting the house, often the primitive birch rod still hung on the wall as a reminder for a woman to behave as a lady.  The birch rod may be best known in recent times as a tool used in sadomasochism.  It is said that during the Marquis de Sade's lifetime, he often instructed his servants to birch him whilst he masturbated.  Several of his works included illustrations of the birch rod.  However, use of the birch rod for sexual gratification predates de Sade.  In ancient times, (8th century BC) the Germanic tribes used birching to wake up fertility in women.  It was believed that birching a woman prior to sex, brought about extreme sexual arousal and increased chances of pregnancy.  Throughout European history, it was not uncommon to see a wealthy gentleman enter a brothel with a birch rod in hand.





BIRCHING TABLE:
a piece of bondage furniture which originates from Scotland, with two holes for arms, and a strap that fastened around the waist, binding a person to be birched.





BIRCHING:
corporal punishment with a birch rod, typically applied to a person's bare buttocks or bare back.  The term birching sometimes refers to stripping a person of their clothes and then striking them with a birch rod in public view.

See BIRCH ROD.





BIRCHING DONKEY or BIRCHING PONY:
similar to today's spanking horse; a piece of bondage furniture which a person is bent over, making them comfortable for flagellation.

See related HORSE.





BISEXUAL:
a person who is sexually attracted to both men and women.



BIT GAG:   see MOUTH BIT.



BITING PLAY:
play sessions that involve biting.



BLACKLIST or BLACKBALL:
the act of disallowing a person to engage in BDSM activities or attend BDSM functions, usually because the person did something that was considered by others to be a major breach of BDSM etiquette.  A person who is blacklisted has a very bad reputation in certain BDSM circles, often because the person showed a lack of concern for safety while playing or the person has been suspected of BDSM abuse.  Blacklisting can be a good way to prevent those who intentionally or recklessly hurt people from hurting people again.  However, sometimes a person is unjustly blacklisted due to false allegations of abuse by a scornful ex or a spiteful acquaintance.  Sadly, when this happens, it makes it very difficult for a BDSM group to police itself.

See related BDSM ABUSE.



BLACK SHEET PARTY:
an orgy sex party for people who have BDSM interests.



BLACK SPOT:
a code for when a submissive ends a TPE relationship, ending a master/slave contract.  A term for when a consensual non-consent relationship remains consensual by practicing that the submissive has the ability to end the relationship at any given time.  The name is taken from the book Treasure Island by Robert Louis Steven in which characters in the story handed their captain a black spot drawn on a page, meaning that he was voted to stand down as captain.

See related CONSENSUAL NON-CONSENT, and SAFEWORD.



BLADING:
uncommon term for knife play.  Blading can be dangerous and is considered edgeplay.

See KNIFE PLAY.





BLINDFOLD:
a garment tied to one's head to cover the eyes and disable the wearer's sight.





BLOOD KNOT or BARREL KNOT:
a knot, with either two or three strands in the knot, that allows the rope to travel true and straight after the knot, tied at the end of a whip or flogger's lash for the purpose of breaking skin and causing pain.  Most often associated with the cat o' nine tails rope flogger or a scourge.

See related CAT O' NINE TAILS or see related SCOURGE.





BLOOD PLAY or BLOOD SPORTS or VAMPIRISM:
any activity that involves drawing blood.  Needle play, knife play, cutting, scarification, body suspension hooks, and purposely whipping a submissive until blood is drawn are but some of the many forms of blood play.  Blood sports are considered edgeplay, which can be dangerous, potentially transmitting HIV and other diseases.  Blood sports may also refer to sexual acts during a woman's menstruation period.





BODY BAG:
a form of mummification, a body bag is a long, heavy bag, made of dense canvas or leather, that fits snuggly and is used to restrain the person wearing it.  It is not the same as the loose-fitting bag of the same name used to transport a human corpse.

See related MUMMIFICATION.





BODY DYSPHORIA:
a mental disorder characterized by the idea that an aspect of a person's own body is severely flawed to the point of obsession.  Extreme dislike of one's own appearance.  The reason it is mentioned in a BDSM glossary is because forms of body dysphoria are one of the most common triggers to past trauma or abuse.  BDSM play such as humiliation of a person's body, can trigger a flashback to prior abuse.  Body dysphoria can be part of an even more serious disorder called BDD or body dysmorphic disorder, causing extreme anxiety and depression and can cause eating disorders such as anorexia or bulimia.



BODY HARNESS:
a harness made of straps, usually leather, that is worn around the torso.





BODY MODIFICATION:
any altering of the body, usually in the context of marking a submissive.  The more permanent, extreme forms of marking, such as branding, scarring, tattooing, or body piercing, should be consensual, even in consensual non-consent relationships.





BODY SUSPENSION or HOOK SUSPENSION or SUSPENSION:
the complete suspension of a human body from thick steal hooks that have been pierced through a person’s flesh, and then attached to ropes or wires.  These piercings are temporary and are performed just prior to actual suspension.  It can be very painful and dangerous if not done with a skilled and experienced rigger.  Body suspension is often simply called suspension, which is sometimes confused with rope suspension that does not involve hooks.  Hook suspension is considered hard-core edgeplay and may be found at some fetish events, as a practice to experience as well as a form of performance art.





BODY SUSPENSION HOOKS or FLESH HOOKS or MEAT HOOKS:
a thick steel hook designed to pierce a person's flesh, used in body suspension.





BODY WORSHIP:
to give lavish attention to a part of the body; a practice through which the submissive is to worship a particular part or parts of a dominant's anatomy.



BOI or BOY:
a title for a person who presents her/himself in a young, boyish way, and is usually but not always submissive.  In the lesbian community, it is often a name given to a young, transgendered, androgynous masculine person who is biologically female, and presents her/himself in a young, boyish manner.  Also refers simply to a male submissive.



BONDAGE:
a broad term for any use of restraints to immobilize a person for the purpose of sexual pleasure, role-play, and/or flagellation.  There are many forms of bondage, just as there are many different ways to immobilize a person.  The term bondage can also refer to the state of being a slave, or greatly constrained by circumstances or obligations.





BONDAGE BELT:
a belt used to restrain a person, made of leather, and containing straps and/or O-rings, to be worn around the waist.





BONDAGE BUNNY:
a person who craves and enjoys being restrained and bound.



BONDAGE CAGE:
any cage that confines a person.  Bondage cages are often made of hardened steel.  Often the cages are tall and slender as to prevent a person from lying down, or the cages are long and short as to prevent a person from standing.  Some people erroneously use the term bondage cage to refer to a chastity cage.

See CHASTITY CAGE.





BONDAGE MITT:
leather or canvas fingerless gloves (mittens), worn over the hands and secured with straps and locking cuffs.  Bondage mittens prevent the wearer from having use of her/his hands.





BONDAGE TAPE:
tape that sticks to itself but not to other surfaces such as a person's skin or clothing.





BONDAGE SAFETY TIE (KNOT) or ONE COLUMN SAFETY TIE:
any knot which uses reverse tension to prevent the tie from tightening on itself once it is tied.  A bondage rope tie that helps prevent cutting off a person's circulation.

See related LARK'S HEAD KNOT.





BOOT BLACKING:
a ritual in which a person displays her/his submission to the dominant by polishing the dominant's shoes or boots.  Sometimes used as a gesture of submission to mark the beginning of a BDSM session.  A common practice in the BDSM leather community.

See related LEATHER COMMUNITY.



BOOT BOY:
a male submissive who engages in boot worship or boot blacking.



BOOT WORSHIP:
a type of shoe fetish centered on boots.



BOTTOM:
title for a person who is on the receiving end of any sort of BDSM play; also, a person who is submissive to another in a sexual role-play.  The opposite of the top (the person giving the floggings or spankings).  This term refers to the physical aspect only.  Not to be confused with a submissive (title) who has surrendered psychological control to a dominant.  For many, both bottom and submissive have become interchangeable in recent times, so that bottom has become just another general term for a submissive and vice versa.



BOTTOM DROP:
a temporary feeling of melancholy in a submissive, which can occasionally occur in some people immediately after a BDSM session or activity.  Some sessions can be intense, both physically and emotionally, and sometimes the sudden reduction of endorphins in the brain can cause feelings of depression.  For some, guilt about how they exposed their own emotions during the session can be overwhelming, especially if the session took place in front of others or a crowd.  Also, for some people, the long anticipation prior to a session, followed by the sudden end to the experience, can leave a person with feelings of disappointment that the anticipation has ended.  Whatever the cause of the feelings of bottom drop, it is one of the reasons why attentive aftercare is so important.



BOTTOM SPACE:   see SUBSPACE.



BOTTOMING FROM THE TOP:
a term for an action in which the dominant of a session allows his submissive to be completely in charge, giving control of events taking place to the submissive.  This can be confusing because, in actuality, limits have been set and negotiated before a session.  Depending on your viewpoint, real control belongs to the submissive anyway.  However, this control is in a general sense of giving consent to a dominant to take charge.  The submissive's control usually stops there, apart from safe wording or ending a session.  When lines get blurred between top and bottom, it can be very confusing to determine who is really in charge of a session or relationship.  This can sometimes cause problems, increasing the chance of accidents.  Though some who engage in power exchange relationships use the term loosely to describe the act of switching roles during play, the term bottoming from the top is usually referencing a dominant who takes on the role of top during a session and then lets the bottom direct and control the session.  The term bottoming from the top is most often used as a derogatory term towards a dominant that lacks the skills to keep his/her submissive from taking control during play.  Bottoming from the top is a term that directs focus on the actions (or inactions) of the dominant during a session.  Similar to topping from the bottom which is a term focused on the actions of the submissive during a session.

See related contrast TOPPING FROM THE BOTTOM.



BOUNDRIES:   see LIMIT or HARD LIMIT.



BOX TIE:
a form of bondage, similar to an arm tie, in which a person's arms are forming a box and all the parts are supporting each other.  It takes the pressure off all the joints.  Thus, this tie, when done properly, can allow the person to have her/his arms tied behind the back for an extended period of time.





BRAIN FADE:
a state of confusion sometimes experienced by a submissive during a play session.



BRANDING:
a form of body modification that uses a heated metal object to brand a person's skin, which leaves a permanent mark in the form of a scar.  Sometimes a way for a dominant to "mark" his submissive.  This practice can cause serious injury and should be considered very dangerous.  The use of dry ice to create a cold brand has grown in popularity.   Both hot branding and cold branding can be dangerous.  

See BODY MODIFICATION.



BRAT or SMART-ASS MASOCHIST (SAM):
a term or title, sometimes meant in a derogatory sense, given to a submissive who often provokes a dominant to respond with a punishment by taunting, teasing, misbehaving, or disobeying an order.



BREAST BONDAGE:
a form of bondage involving binding the breasts of a female.





BREAST CLAMP:
a device consisting of two planks or bars with an adjustable mechanism that clamps over the breasts of a female.





BREAST TORTURE:
torture involving the breasts and/or nipples.





BREATH CONTROL PLAY:
any practice in which a person's breathing is constricted, interrupted, made difficult, or in some way controlled by another.  Considered edgeplay (dangerous).  Breath control play can sometimes refer to simulated throat constriction rather than actually constricting airflow.

See related EROTIC ASPHYXIATION.





BREEDING FETISH:
a fetish centered on fixation with impregnating a female.



BUCK HAMMER:
a medical instrument used to test reflexes.  The head of the instrument is made of rubber but can be replaced with a small metal needle or brush, and it is used to test neurological function.  The buck hammer can be a great tool for sensation play.





BUG ZAPPER or INSECT PADDLE or ELECTRIC PADDLE:
a common battery-operated electrical device shaped like a paddle or tennis racket, used to kill flying insects.  This device is also commonly used in BDSM for use in electrical play, delivering a small jolt of electricity to the skin.  The device is so commonly used for BDSM, that is often sold in stores that sell BDSM toys or gear.

See ELECTRICAL PLAY.





BUGGY WHIP or COACHWHIP:
a whip created to strike horses while driving a horse-drawn carriage.  It has a long, flexible shaft and a short single lash.  Similar to a lunge whip, which has a long single lash.  At the end of the lash is often a cracker.

See LUNGE WHIP.





BUKKAKE:
a sexual practice in which a large number of men masturbate and ejaculate onto a person.  Originating in Japan, from the Japanese word meaning "to splash water."  It is believed that the practice originated because of censorship of Japanese pornography.  According to Japanese law, penetration could not be shown, yet there was no censorship of semen, which created a loophole for harder sex scenes.





BULL:
refers to a dominant male in a cuckoldry sexual exchange.  When a cuckold male shares his female partner with other males, the other males are referred to as bulls.  The term may also simply refer to any well-endowed male.   

See related CUCKOLDRY.



BULLWHIP:
the most popular single-tail whip, and the most difficult to master.  It is made of braided leather or nylon, with a different number of plaits, (the number of lacings used to braid).  The more common plaits are 8, 12 and 16.  They are often made of cowhide lacing and also kangaroo hide lacing.  Kangaroo is most preferred and sought after due to the flexibility of kangaroo hide.  Bullwhips are also made of nylon or paracord, which can mimic the flexibility of kangaroo.  Many players prefer nylon whips, as they are inexpensive yet can still work much like kangaroo whips, plus they have the ability to wash them in a standard dishwasher.  Bullwhips are usually 4 to 6 feet long but can extend as much as 12 feet.  The bullwhip has a rigid handle, with a hardy core throughout.  It also has a fall (single piece of leather) that leads to a small string or strings at the end called a cracker or popper.  The fall and the cracker are the part of the whip that can break the sound barrier, hence its cracking sound.  As with any single-tail whip, it requires extensive knowledge and practice to use safely on a human.  It is very easy to break the skin with any single-tail whip as well as cause unintended injuries.  Besides the skills of the user, the quality of the leather, the number of plaits, and the quality of the craftsmanship, has a great effect on whether or not the whip can be wielded with accuracy.





BUTCH:
a term for a masculine female. A description of a lesbian's sensibilities or behavior. Sometimes used as a derogatory term.



BUTT PLUG:
a sex toy used for anal stimulation, usually short in length, consisting of a flared dildo and a narrow part before the base that is meant to remain in the anus until removed.  It is sometimes used in anal training, as a way of expanding the anus in preparation for intercourse.  There are many different types and sizes of plugs.





BUTTERFLY CHAIR:
a chair that contains two planks for securing the legs.  When the legs are bound, they can then be rotated to spread the legs apart.





BUTTON PUSHING:   see TRIGGERS.



BWC:
an acronym meaning big White cock.  A less popular porn site term than the BBC porn site term or the BBC fetish, most often used in conjunction with BBC.  There is not as much of an assumption of Caucasian males having an exceptionally large penis, however the term BWC has been increasingly used on BDSM social networking sites such as Fetlife.

See related contrast BBC.










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