PADDLE (SPANKING PADDLE): any flat-shaped, hard implement with a handle, used for striking a person on the buttocks or other fleshy areas of the body. Paddles come in all shapes and sizes and can be made from many different kinds of materials, including leather, wood, nylon, and even Plexiglas. Some paddles are covered in fur on one side to change up the sensations during play. Historically, the spanking paddle was used for the punishment of slaves, as a way of causing intense pain without doing any permanent damage to the recipient. Throughout history, all over the world, there have been documented cases of paddling slaves as a form of punishment for misconduct. In U.S. history, the paddle was often used in schools to discipline students. Some states still permit the use of the paddle in their schools. See related SPENCER PADDLE.
PAIN PLAY: a very broad term for any activity in which one person inflicts pain on another. PAIN SLUT: a title for a person who enjoys receiving large amounts of pain play. PAINGASM: an orgasm achieved solely through painful stimulation, which is very rare and difficult to achieve. The term is sometimes loosely used to describe any contrapolar stimulation activity that brings about an orgasm. PAINSTIK: since an episode of the television series Star Trek: The Next Generation, the term painstik sometimes refers to a cattle prod, which resembles a Klingon painstik in the series. The use of a cattle prod is very dangerous. An actual pain stick (different spelling and presented as two words) is something completely different, also referred to as an evil stick. See CATTLE PROD or EVIL STICK. PANIC SNAP (SAFETY SNAP): a type of carabiner used in rope bondage or suspension, designed so that the mechanism can release an attached rope or chain quickly and easily, even with full tension applied. In the vanilla world, it is sold for equestrian purposes. If a horse rears up in a panic, putting full tension on the lead, a simple reverse-tension movement of the mechanism releases the lead from the horse. This makes it an ideal safety item for BDSM bondage.
PANSEXUAL: a person who is sexually inclusive, not limited or inhibited in sexual choice with regard to gender or activity. The term describes a person's sexual preference for being charged by erotic activities with partners of both sexes, but who is not necessarily defined as bisexual. See related BISEXUAL. PARACHUTE: a device designed to be wrapped around the scrotum, from which weights can be suspended to pull and stretch the scrotum, causing pain.
PARAPHILIA: the biomedical term used to describe sexual arousal that is extreme or outside what is considered standard stimulation. When a person has a condition that is psychologically or physically harmful to themselves or others, it is categorized as a paraphilic disorder. In the BDSM realm, the term fetish is typically reserved to describe a healthy sexual desire, whereas the term paraphilia is reserved to describe an unhealthy sexual disorder. Though these are technically incorrect uses of the terms, it helps draw a clearer contrast between healthy and unhealthy conditions. The terms fetish and paraphilia are also sometimes used synonymously, causing confusion. See related FETISH. For a LIST OF PARAPHILIAS, CLICK HERE. PARADISE ELECTRO STIMULATION (PES): a device used to electrically stimulate muscle contraction. In the BDSM world, it is used to bring about sexual gratification or to bring someone to orgasm. In BDSM, the device is most often used on males to stimulate the penis.
PAYPIG: refers to a person, usually male, who engages in findom relationships and is willing to pay findoms for their time. See FINDOM. PAWG: an acronym for phat ass White girl. Slang, originally from African American Vernacular English (AAVE), referring to a Caucasian woman who has a large, shapely butt and a small waist. The word "phat" is an intentional misspelling of the word "fat," intended to invert the meaning to express admiration for a full figure. The term "pawg" is used solely for Caucasian women. PEGBOY: a slang term for a male who enjoys having his anus penetrated. It is also a term for a male who is preparing himself for anal sex by inserting a dildo or butt plug into his anus and keeping it there for a prolonged period. The term is believed to originate in reference to a young male sailor or cabin boy aboard a British naval or pirate vessel. Because female passengers were considered bad luck, a young boy was designated to sit on a smooth wooden peg to keep his anus loose for penetration by other sailors. Because British maritime law prohibited sodomy aboard naval vessels and pirate ships operated under varying codes, the story is most likely an urban legend. The term is also used in modern times to refer to a gay prostitute. PEGGING: a sexual practice in which a female penetrates a man's anus with a strap-on dildo. Originally, the term referred to the use of a strap-on with an additional vibrator intended to stimulate the female, and the act continued until she was brought to orgasm, rather than the focus being on the male's orgasm. Currently, the term is used more loosely to refer to any sort of penetration with a dildo or strap-on dildo. In recent times, pegging also refers to the act of a female being penetrated vaginally by another female with a dildo or vibrator.
PERCUSSION: any form of play that involves striking with a blunt, heavy implement. PERFORMANCE PLAY FACTOR (PPF): refers to the belief that when a person plays in front of a crowd, it is impossible to have the exact same mindset or experience one would have while playing in private. This is similar to the idea that people can never truly be themselves with the knowledge that a camera is recording them. Playing in public often has voyeuristic aspects and can add a level of eroticism to the play. Knowing that peers are watching can sometimes allow a submissive to take more pain than they could in private. This can be a benefit and sometimes a hindrance, as a submissive may also hesitate to use a safeword for fear of the judgment of peers. Sometimes, public play causes a dominant to worry more about his flashy flogging technique than the safety and well-being of the submissive he is playing with. See sometimes related CLUBDOM. Playing in public in front of strangers can bring about a different BDSM experience, sometimes better and sometimes worse than that of playing only in front of intimate partners.
PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY INFORMED CONSENSUAL KINK (PRICK): the philosophy that a submissive is responsible for accepting or rejecting certain risky BDSM behaviors or activities that they engage in, as well as being willing to accept the outcome of their decision. It is meant to be an extension of the R.A.C.K. philosophy. See related RISK AWARE CONSENSUAL KINK (RACK). PERVERTABLES (various spelling PERVERTIBLES): a term originally coined by David Stein to describe ordinary, non-sexual objects, such as everyday household items, that can be used for BDSM activities.
PET: a title for a role taken by a person who engages in animal role-play in which the submissive is to be trained and treated like a pet. See ANIMALISM. It is also a term for a submissive who enjoys dressing like an animal, such as a kitten, and takes on certain characteristics of such an animal, yet does not necessarily consider themselves an animal role-player. The title also refers to a submissive held in a lesser regard than other submissives or slaves in a BDSM relationship, specifically one taken less seriously as a permanent member of the relationship or a submissive play partner who is usually temporary. PETITIONS: a formal request, either verbal or written, in which a potential submissive petitions her service in a D/s relationship to a dominant. It is a formal request for a BDSM relationship in which a submissive declares their loyalty and service to a dominant, sometimes including outlines and boundaries for the pending relationship, similar to a BDSM contract. The term also refers to a written request from a dominant to another dominant or protector of a submissive to engage in D/s play or a relationship with said submissive. See related CONTRACT and PROTECTING. PHALLICISM: a form of body worship in which a person worships the male genitalia, or a term used to describe the adoration that a submissive has for their male dominant's genitalia. Some cultures and ancient religions, sometimes called phallic cults, practice a form of phallicism that incorporates symbols and statues of male sex organs to represent power or the generative principle of nature. See related BODY WORSHIP and COCK WORSHIP.
PIERCING LACING: see CORSET PIERCING. PILLORY: a piece of furniture used for bondage, consisting of two heavy planks, usually made of wood, which can close around a person's neck and wrists, mounted to a base by a wooden pole. Pillories have been used throughout history for the purpose of punishment, torture, and public humiliation. A portable pillory that is not mounted in an affixed position (a device rather than furniture) is referred to as a yoke. See STOCKS, YOKE, and SHREW'S FIDDLE.
PILLORY BED: a bed with a knee pillory and a stock built into the headboard or footboard to restrain a person in the bed.
PIN WHEEL: see WARTENBERG WHEEL. PISS PLAY: see WATER SPORTS. PLASTICUFFS (FLEX CUFFS or SAFETY CUFFS): a joint cable tie handcuff used as a disposable physical restraint. Plasticuffs are often used by law enforcement during riot control. See CABLE TIE.
PLAY (PLAY SCENE or PLAY SESSION): any consensual activity, scene, or sexual act within the confines of BDSM. Though such BDSM activities are often engaged in for serious or practical purposes, they are still considered to be pretend. In acknowledgment of the recreational and fantasy aspects of the session, such activities are defined as play. The terms play, scene, and session are used synonymously, both as adjectives and nouns. See related SCENE. PLAY MUSIC: any music played during a play session to intensify the mood. It often helps a submissive relax and aids in reaching subspace. To download some Play Music Examples, CLICK HERE. PLAY PARTY: a gathering of people who are interested in BDSM activities, either to watch or to participate, usually taking place in a dungeon or playroom. Play parties usually establish an outline of the night's events, including whether edgeplay, full nudity, or overtly sexual activities will take place. PLAY PIERCING (PIERCING PLAY): any piercing of the body for the enjoyment of the piercing. Usually, the piercing is temporary. See NEEDLE PLAY. PLAY SCENE (PLAY SESSION): see SCENE, SESSION, or PLAY. POLYAMORY (POLY or POLYAM): the practice, desire, or acceptance of having more than one intimate, sexual relationship at a time with the full knowledge and consent of everyone involved. The consensual opposite of monogamy. The term comes from the Greek word "poly," meaning "many," and the Latin word "amor," meaning "love." POLYFIDELITY: see GROUP MARRIAGE. POLYGAMY: the practice or custom of having more than one wife or husband at the same time. A polyamorous-type marriage. When a man is married to more than one wife at a time, but there is no marriage bond between the two wives in a sexual context, it is called polygyny. In a polygynous marriage, the wives are often called sister wives, and they each have a sexually intimate relationship only with the husband. The same dynamic makeup, but between a woman and more than one husband, is called polyandry. When all parties married are sexually active with one another, it is called a group marriage or polyfidelity. The term polygamy is also used in recent times to include any threesome marriage-type relationship where all parties are sexually active with each other, practicing polyfidelity. See related GROUP MARRIAGE. There are several different types of group marriages that practice BDSM 24/7. See related PRIDE FAMILY and GROUP MARRIAGE. PONY PLAY: a form of animalism play, in which a person, most often a submissive, takes on the role of a pony or horse. The play involves walking on all fours, sometimes with a bit and saddle, pulling carts, wearing blinders, and sometimes wearing a butt plug with a horse tail attached. Not to be confused with an unrelated wooden pony, which is furniture rather than a form of play. See related ANIMALISM.
POPPER/S: another term for a cracker at the end of a whip. See CRACKER. Also, a slang term for the various alkyl nitrite inhalant drugs, such as Locker Room or Rush. When these drugs in liquid form are inhaled, they decrease blood pressure and increase heart rate so that blood rushes to the head quickly, causing a person to feel a rapid warm sensation and dizziness. These drugs have been used to heighten sexual intercourse as well as used to ease initial pain during penetration of the anus. Though poppers have a lower risk of harm to an individual than other recreational drugs, some cases have shown that serious adverse effects have occurred. Such drugs should be considered dangerous. Alkyl nitrite inhalants can cause adverse effects on a person's vision as well as effects on the heart. If such liquids are ingested, it could prove fatal.
POSITIONS FOR A SLAVE: see SLAVE POSITIONS. POSTURE COLLAR: a type of exceptionally high collar, usually made of leather, which limits the mobility of the wearer's neck, holding their head up high.
POTTY TRAINING: an act performed during age play in which the dominant, who takes on the role of a parent or guardian, teaches the submissive, who takes on the role of a toddler, to use the toilet. Sometimes, potty training serves as a ceremonial rite of passage within age play in which the submissive graduates from diaper play. This is considered separate from toilet humiliation play, given that in potty training the focus is on the submissive taking the role of a small child and being taught to use the toilet. Sometimes the term potty training can refer to puppy play or kitten play. See related AGE PLAY and DIAPER PLAY. Also see UN-related contrast TOILET HUMILIATION PLAY. POWER EXCHANGE: any situation where two or more people consensually agree to a relationship in which one has power over another. PREDICAMENT BONDAGE: a type of bondage in which a person is bound in an awkward or inconvenient way to set up a challenge for the bound person to overcome. Sometimes, just relaxing and accepting the uncomfortable positioning can be challenge enough.
PRESENTATION: see SLAVE PRESENTATION. PRICK: an acronym for personal responsibility informed consensual kink. See PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY INFORMED CONSESUAL KINK (PRICK). PRIDE FAMILY (A PRIDE): a specific type of group marriage (polyfidelity), usually referring to a marriage of three or more people engaged in a committed BDSM 24/7 TPE relationship, consisting of one husband and multiple bisexual wives, all of whom are sexually active with one another, exclusively. See related POLYGAMY and GROUP MARRIAGE. Also, a marriage consisting of three or more homosexual males, in which one husband is a dominant while the rest are submissives, is also called a pride family. The term pride may also refer to gay pride. PRIMAL: a title for a person who wishes to identify themselves in the kink realm as having instinctive, fundamental urges toward sex. The belief that submission and dominance is an instinctive, natural process of human sexuality. The title first started showing up on the BDSM social networking site called FetLife. It is often used as a title for someone who wishes to be regarded as kinky yet feels none of the title choices available quite fit their personality or role. PRISON STRAP (STROP): a strap similar to the original hog slapper. A long strip of thick leather, usually connected to a wooden handle. It is usually as thick as a razor strop originally used in barbershops, which is why the spelling is sometimes "strop" rather than "strap."
PRO-DOM: the male counterpart to a pro-domme. A male pro-dom is rare, as there is not enough clientele willing to seek such services. The spelling "pro-dom" is sometimes used to reference a "pro-domme," and in recent times both spellings are used interchangeably. See below PRO-DOMME. PRO-DOMME: a female dominant who charges a monetary fee for dominating her clients, sometimes involving many forms of BDSM, without engaging in actual sexual intercourse. Pro-dommes usually work out of professional dungeons and/or their own homes. Though many BDSM activities take place during a pro-domme service that would be considered by some to be sexual in nature, it is not considered prostitution until actual sexual contact is made. This can create gray areas and confusion as to what is legal. The spelling "pro-dom" is sometimes used to reference a "pro-domme," and in recent times both spellings are used interchangeably. See above PRO-DOM. PROSTATE MILKING: see MILKING. PROTECTING: a term for the practice when a dominant declares that he is protecting a person, usually a submissive, from harm, even though there is no actual master/submissive relationship taking place. Sometimes a submissive declares that they are protecting another submissive. The term is used to convey a buddy system encouraging safety while dating in a BDSM community. PROTECTOR: a person who declares publicly that he is protecting a submissive. See above PROTECTING. PROTOCOL: a determined set of rules that a submissive must follow in a BDSM relationship or interaction, usually set forth by the dominant. See RITUALS. The term protocol is also sometimes used in the context of BDSM community etiquette. See ETIQUETTE OF BDSM (PROTOCOLS OF BDSM).
PROTOCOL DINNER (PROTOCOL PARTY): see HIGH PROTOCOL DINNER / PARTY. PSYCHOLAGNY: a sexual term referring to the ability to reach or achieve an orgasm without any physical stimulation to the genitals; an orgasm achieved through mental stimulation or fantasy only. Considered very rare and difficult to achieve.
PSYCHOLOGICAL BONDAGE: see HONOR BONDAGE. PUMP GAG: a type of gag with a smooth phallus made of rubber containing a bladder that can be inflated, filling the mouth and preventing the person from speaking. The gag is secured in place with leather straps around the wearer's head. These devices can sometimes be dangerous, enlarging in a person's throat and suffocating them.
PUNISHMENT: the infliction or imposition of a penalty on a submissive by a dominant as retribution for an offense, in a consensual non-consent relationship or play session.
PUNISHMENT TIE: any form of bondage in which a person is bound in such a way as to feel pain or discomfort directly due to the bondage. Considered edgeplay and dangerous. See related PREDICAMENT BONDAGE. PUNISHMENT WHIP: a type of whip 3 to 6 feet in length, comprised of tightly braided leather with no rigid handle, sometimes referred to as an overseer's whip. It features either a cracker at the business end, similar to a signal whip, or is finished with a Turk's-head knot without a cracker, and usually has a braided hanger or safety strap. It was commonly used by slave owners and foremen in U.S. history. Many argue that the term refers to all whips and that there is little if any difference between a punishment whip and other whips. The term is meant to distinguish between whips intended for striking or signaling livestock and whips intended to strike a person. See closely related LEGREE WHIP.
PUPPY PLAY: a form of animalism play in which a person, most often a submissive, takes on the role of a dog. See ANIMALISM and KENNEL PLAY. PUPPETEERING: a sexual practice or act in which a man's prostate is stimulated by a third person during sexual intercourse. As a man is having sex with a person, a third person stimulates his prostate by inserting one or more fingers into his anus. Having his prostate massaged can intensify the man's orgasm, sometimes rendering him powerless to control when he ejaculates. See related MILKING.
PUSHING LIMITS: a consensual and respectful practice of gradually exceeding a person's soft limits. Pushing a person's limits can be psychologically dangerous, and one should use caution when doing so. Pushing limits, either physically or mentally, is also another term for edgeplay. See EDGE PLAY. PVC: an abbreviation for polyvinyl chloride; a tough, chemically resistant synthetic resin made by polymerizing vinyl chloride, creating a sheet material that is then used as a fabric in fetish wear. The terms PVC, vinyl, and PU tend to be used interchangeably by retailers of clothing made from shiny, plastic-coated fabrics. PVC is not as stretchy as latex, but can look similar, especially when covered with lubricant. See related LATEX and LATEX & PVC FETISHISM.
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