S & M: see SADOMASOCHISM.  S-TYPE: refers to a person who takes on the role of submissive. A submissive type of person. The opposite of a D-type (dominant type) person. A way to describe a person's chosen role in BDSM activities without assigning them a title. See SUBMISSIVE. SADISM: the tendency to derive pleasure and sexual gratification from inflicting pain, torment, suffering, or humiliation on others. Not to be confused with masochism, which is to derive the same pleasure from receiving pain and/or humiliation. It should be noted that in the BDSM world, sadism is frowned upon when it is not matched with masochism. In other words, deriving pleasure from inflicting pain should only come from the knowledge that the receiver of such pain is also drawing pleasure from the same experience. See related SADOMASOCHISM. SADIST: one who engages in Sadism. SADIST STICK: see EVIL STICK / PAIN STICK or CATTLE PROD. SADOMASOCHISM (S & M or S/M): a psychological tendency or sexual practice characterized by both sadism and masochism; a blanket term for pain play, or anything involving BDSM. The terms sadism, masochism, and sadomasochism were coined by psychiatrists studying the subject, so named after two authors who wrote on the subject: the Marquis de Sade and Leopold von Sacher-Masoch. See related SADISM and MASOCHISM. 
SADOMASOCHIST: a person who engages in sadomasochism. A blanket term for anyone who has an interest in BDSM. The term is also sometimes used to describe a person who approaches BDSM as an art form or adds spiritualistic qualities to BDSM. A person who holds the philosophy that certain acts of dominance, such as using BDSM as a therapeutic tool while reaching a certain level of sexual euphoria, can be considered art. Much as some view Japanese shibari bondage as an art form for its ritualistic approach to the journey of restraining a person, along with its aesthetic value, so too do some believe that sadomasochism, in general, can be seen as an art form when taking the same spiritual approach, along with its aesthetic value. Some people use the term sadomasochist to describe a BDSM artist. SAFE CALL: an arranged set of circumstances in which a person has a friend call them at a specified time to check up on them when meeting someone new or unfamiliar for the purpose of finding a potential mate or play partner. SAFE, SANE, & CONSENSUAL (SSC): a code of conduct or philosophy that any BDSM act is acceptable and ethical, provided that it is safe, sane, and consensual. There is some controversy over this philosophy, as some view the term safe as too subjective, and also because people often consensually engage in activities such as edgeplay. See RISK AWARE CONSENSUAL KINK (RACK). SAFE SIGN (SAFE SIGNAL): as a safety measure, a predefined sign or gesture that a submissive can use to signal to the dominant to stop or slow play. Similar to a safeword, but instead of a spoken code word, the submissive gives a physical sign that they need to stop BDSM activities. When a submissive is bound for play and/or gagged, a safeword might prove difficult to say aloud, whereas a physical symbol might be more prudent. An example of a safe sign could be a submissive holding onto an object during play and then dropping the object to the floor to signal to the dominant to stop all BDSM activities. See also SAFEWORD. SAFE ZONES (SAFE AREAS, TARGET ZONES, or STRIKE ZONES): the areas of the body that are fleshy or have layers of muscle, which can be struck safely during flagellation or caning. Areas where bones or vital organs are near the surface are not safe zones. Safe zones should be learned before a person takes a flogger or cane in hand. 
SAFETY KIT: a collection of items focused on BDSM, kept nearby during a play session for the purpose of supplying quick aid in the event of an emergency. Such items could include: 1) extra handcuff keys, 2) extra lock keys, 3) bolt cutters, 4) EMT scissors, 5) disinfectant, 6) antiseptic, 7) bandages or gauze pads, 8) tape, 9) smelling salts, 10) topical analgesic cream, 11) latex gloves, 12) condoms, 13) a pamphlet with CPR instructions, 14) aloe, and 15) a cell phone. Different activities dictate different safety items. Safety kits should be built according to the pending activity. SAFETY TIE: see BONDAGE SAFETY TIE. SAFEWORD: a predefined code word or series of code words that a submissive may say to clearly communicate an emotional or physical state to the dominant, most often used to immediately cease or pause any BDSM activity. In BDSM, resistance play and forced sex play are often part of a session; hence, in BDSM, the word "no" does not always mean "no." When safewords are put into practice, the submissive has a way to maintain the use of the word "no" by saying aloud the predetermined safeword. This aids in keeping the act consensual and adds an additional layer of safety. Safewords should be simple words or phrases that are easy to remember. Sometimes play sessions can be so exhilarating and intense that even simple safewords can be forgotten. It remains the responsibility of the dominant to ensure the submissive's safety by being attentive and not relying completely on safewords. Safewords can help with safety, but safewords do not guarantee safety. SAINT ANDREW'S CROSS: see the more common spelling ST. ANDREW'S CROSS. SALTIRE: another name for a St. Andrew's cross. See ST. ANDREW'S CROSS. SANDWICHING: the sexual practice or act in which a male penetrates another person, usually female, and a third person (a male, or a female with a strap-on) penetrates the male. For example, a man has vaginal or anal sex with one partner while he is being anally penetrated by another, possibly with a strap-on. 
SCARFING: breath-control play by means of a scarf or necktie. Scarfing is also sometimes used as a term for the act of engaging in erotic asphyxiation. See EROTIC ASPHYXIATION. 
SCARIFICATION: a form of body modification that involves cutting the flesh of a person and then treating it in such a way as to leave a permanent scar. See related BODY MODIFICATION. 
SCAT (BROWN SHOWER): any activity involving feces. Note: anilingus is not considered scat play until actual feces is involved as a welcomed part of the activity. SCENE (PLAY SCENE): the time period of a BDSM activity from when two people begin a BDSM activity to the time they stop. The terms "play," "scene," and "session" are all used synonymously, both as a noun and an adjective. All three are meant to describe the time engaged in BDSM. The term "scene" is also commonly used to mean the BDSM community as a whole. See related PLAY, SESSION, and BDSM COMMUNITY (BDSM SCENE). SCENE NAME: an alias one calls oneself in realms involving BDSM. In many circles, it is considered proper etiquette to use scene names rather than real names while in a BDSM environment. Throughout history, those who have had an interest in BDSM activities have had to hide their interest from those who might scorn them for such interests. The common practice of choosing an alias to help conceal a person's identity and interests from vanilla coworkers, children, and family members is still in use today and has become increasingly necessary with postings on the Internet. See related NAME CHANGE. SCISSORING: a sexual position in which female partners interlock their legs, much like a pair of scissors, spreading their legs so that they can rub their genitalia together and stimulate each other's clitoris. This sexual position is a practice called tribadism. See TRIBADISM. 
SCOLD'S BRIDLE: a metal cage-type mask, with an integrated metal muzzle gag, that is worn on the head and locked into place. The original scold's bridle from the Middle Ages, also known as "the branks," was made of iron and primarily used on women as a form of torture and public humiliation. The gag was frequently studded with spikes so that if the wearer moved her tongue, it inflicted pain and made speech impossible. A scold is an old English term for a woman who was considered a public nuisance. Wives who were seen as gossips, witches, shrews, and scolds were forced to wear the device in public. Today, in the BDSM realm, scold's bridles are often made of leather and have a far less harmful muzzle gag. 
SCOURGE: a specific type of flogger that usually has two to three heavy leather lashes or three lashes made of thick cord with blood knots or barrel knots. 
SELF BONDAGE: the practice of restraining oneself, usually as a part of masturbation. Considered very dangerous. Given that the first rule of bondage is to never leave a bound person alone, self-bondage with no other person present is considered unsafe and should be discouraged. SENNET WHIP: a type of single-tail whip consisting of a length of thin rope, knotted on the end, and then coated with wax or liquid rubber. 
SENSATION PLAY (SKIN PLAY or SENSORY PLAY): any play in which the main focus is bringing about physical sensations to a person's body for erotic arousal. Wartenberg wheels, fur floggers, knives, sandpaper, and candles are common devices in sensation play. 
SENSORY DEPRIVATION: any practice intended to deprive a person of normal external stimuli such as sight and sound for the purposes of inciting fear, anxiety, and/or sexual arousal as a part of sensation play. 
SENSUALIST: a person who prides themselves on the enjoyment of giving and receiving tender touch, concentrating on aesthetics rather than the pain involved in BDSM activities. SERPENT'S KISS: see TAWSE. SERVICE D/s: a type of D/s play centered on the act of being in complete service to the dominant, usually involving practical tasks or many diminutive chores. Sometimes refers to a professional submissive who is paid to take the role of a submissive in a BDSM play session. SERVICE TOP: a person who serves another person's needs by dominating them, yet may not necessarily get any direct gratification from being dominant. Sometimes refers to a professional dominant who is paid to dominate and play with a submissive per the submissive's instructions and direction, in that the submissive maintains complete control of the session. SESSION (PLAY SESSION): the time period of a BDSM activity from when two people begin a BDSM activity to the time they stop. The terms "play," "session," and "scene" are all used synonymously, both as an adjective and a noun. All three are meant to describe the time engaged in BDSM. The term "session" is also commonly used to mean the time spent with a pro-domme or pro-dom. See related PLAY and SCENE. SEX SLING (SEX SWING): a hammock-type seat designed so that a person can recline with legs spread apart, making it convenient for sexual intercourse. See also FISTING SLING. 
SEXSOMNIA (SLEEPSEX): a condition in which a person engages in sexual intercourse or sexual acts while still asleep and not cognitively aware of the action. It is related to sleepwalking or sleep apnea and is sometimes triggered by stress. Sexsomnia is also a term that is sometimes used in some BDSM circles for the act of having sex with a sleeping submissive who gave consent to the activity before falling asleep. See also SOMNOPHILIA PLAY. SEXUAL ASPHYXIATION: see EROTIC ASPHYXIATION. SHACKLES: a pair of metal cuffs connected by a chain, used to fasten the wrists or the ankles together. 
SHIBARI: an art form originating in Japan that involves using elaborate, intricate rope patterns to bind a person for both restraint and aesthetic beauty. Literally translating to "tying," it evolved from kinbaku ("tight binding") and Japanese martial restraint techniques. The technique involves extremely elaborate and intricate patterns of rope for the purposes of not only restraining a person, but also for the aesthetics of the bind. Japanese bondage is distinguished by its use of specific forms and appearance regulations. In particular, it is very much about how the rope is applied and specific pressures given to each bind. It is also important to note that shibari takes the view that it is more about the journey or process of being tied up than the destination of being bound. Shibari is considered an art form. Today, the terms kinbaku and shibari (with shibari being the more common term) are often used synonymously to describe any rope bondage that has a Japanese style of intricate knots. 
SHINJU: a type of rope harness that is tied around the breasts. It does not restrict a person's movements but can provide constant stimulation as a person moves. 
SHOE FETISHISM (RETIFISM): a type of sexual expression centered on a fixation on shoes or the wearing of shoes. 
SHREW'S FIDDLE (FIDDLE): a type of restraint originally made of wood (a type of portable pillory) in which the head and wrists can be bound in single file. Its shape is much like that of a violin, from which it gets its name. Historically, the shrew's fiddle (neck violin), also known as a "Halsgeige," was originally used in the medieval time period to punish and torture people for various infractions. It was also used on unruly or quarrelsome women. Sometimes a small bell was attached to the end of the fiddle to let townspeople know that the troublesome woman was nearing. Often a rope or chain was attached to the fiddle so that she could be led around streets by an aggrieved husband in public view. She was then often birched or flogged while in the restraint. The shrew's fiddle was intended to shame and embarrass the victim as well as cause discomfort with the positioning of her restrained arms. Some fiddles were constructed so as to have two people bound to each other, facing each other, but in such a way that they could not touch each other. There was also a metal version that was commonly used on enslaved people, with combined shackles that bound the arms and neck in the same fashion as the wood version. Currently, metal versions of the shrew's fiddle are the most common replicas sold for BDSM use. 
SIGNAL WHIP: a type of small, single-tail whip, usually about 3 to 4 feet in length, made of leather or nylon. The signal whip has a flexible handle like a snake whip, only a signal whip has no fall before the cracker. The signal whip is braided straight to the cracker. The signal whip was originally used to make a loud crack noise, signaling to dog teams (snow sled teams). Without the fall it is much easier to crack; however, for BDSM purposes it is much more difficult to replace the cracker. 
SINGLE-COLUMN TIE: see ONE-COLUMN TIE and BONDAGE SAFETY TIE/KNOT. SINGLE-TAIL (WHIP): any whip with a single lash, such as stockwhips, bullwhips, signal whips, snake whips, buggy whips, lunge whips, Legree whips, and punishment whips. Single-tail whips can inflict serious injuries and can be dangerous in the hands of an inexperienced user. It requires skill and experience to use them properly. Single-tail whips are not always predictable, and mistakes can happen even with the most experienced handlers, which is why the use of a single-tail is considered edgeplay. See WHIP. 
SISSY: a male submissive who has engaged in or wishes to engage in feminization. A feminine boy submissive. The term is also used by some to describe transgender individuals. Once exclusively a derogatory slur, the term has been reclaimed and embraced by many within BDSM and fetish subcultures. See FEMINIZATION. SISSIFICATION: see FEMINIZATION. SISTER (SISTER WIFE, SISTER SLAVE, or SUB-SISTER): a female submissive relative to another female submissive within the confines of a BDSM family or house. A female comrade or female fellow submissive. See related FEMINIZATION or GROUP MARRIAGE. SJAMBOK: a specific type of heavy whip. It was historically the official punishment whip in South Africa, often associated with the Apartheid regime. It was traditionally made from hippopotamus or rhinoceros hide, but today it is commonly made of plastic, thick, dense cowhide, or rubber. 
SLAPPER (DOUBLE SLAPPER): a leather strap used for striking, consisting of two pieces of leather bound together only at the base near the handle, in such a way that when a person is struck, both pieces slap together to create a loud slapping sound. The delayed hit is also believed to make the strike more painful than that of a single piece of leather. The original purpose of a slapper was for use in controlling livestock, delivering a powerful strike while creating a loud sound to scare the animal. 
SLAVE (CONSENSUAL SLAVE): a title of a submissive player in a master/slave role-play exchange, who consensually gives themselves as property to another. SLAVE AUCTION: an event held at play parties in which submissives are auctioned off to the highest bidder for a set period of time. Slave auctions are often held to raise money for BDSM groups or charities. Sometimes slave auctions take place as a means for polyamorous couples or families to gain a new lover. SLAVE COLLAR: see COLLAR. SLAVE CONTRACT: see CONTRACT. SLAVE PLAY: role-play as either a slave or as a slave owner in a master/slave exchange; a fantasy role-play in which elaborate scenarios are played out where people are sold into slavery and then kept as slaves, usually sexual slaves. This play is often engaged in by those in master/slave 24/7 total power exchange consensual non-consent relationships. See related CONSENSUAL NON-CONSENT and TOTAL POWER EXCHANGE (TPE). 
SLAVE POSITIONS: a structured set of positions for a slave to hold during play, or to signify compliance to pending play. There is no set guidebook that must be used by all for the many different slave positions, and they vary from person to person. Such positions are usually set forth by the dominant or head of a particular house for the submissive and determined during collar training. Play involving the structured task of a submissive presenting themselves to the dominant by holding many predetermined positions is most common in Gorean D/s. In fact, many of the slave positions that are used today have been adapted from the Gorean D/s structure. See related GOREAN D/S and SLAVE PRESENTATION. 
SLAVE PRESENTATION: the way in which a submissive presents themselves to a dominant as part of a protocol ritual, usually by kneeling before the dominant and giving a gesture or stating a predetermined phrase, often used as a declaration of the start of a play session. In some 24/7 master/slave relationships, a dominant may allow the submissive to take off a collar to shower, go to work, or attend a family event. The dominant may then insist that a submissive present themselves to the dominant in a predetermined way each time the submissive puts the collar back on. When the submissive presents themselves to the dominant, it signifies either that play may resume, that their devotion to the power exchange is still in effect, or both. See related SLAVE POSITIONS, PROTOCOL, and RITUALS. 
SLEEPSACK: a device for complete encasement bondage, or mummification bondage, in which a person’s entire body is immobilized. These types of devices are sometimes used for longer periods of time. Many people use the term sleepsack synonymously with the term body bag, describing any bag-type bondage device that immobilizes a person completely. Other people reserve the term sleepsack to mean a bag-type bondage device that covers and binds the entire body, but not the head, much like an infant child’s sleep sack. The sleepsack (without a hood) leaves a person’s head exposed. See related BODY BAG. 
SLEEPING INSIDE (SWADDLING): the sexual act of falling asleep after intercourse while keeping the penis still inside a partner's vagina, ass, or mouth. This is best achieved with couples sleeping in the fetal position. It is recommended that a lot of lubricant is used to prevent the orifice from drying during sleep, potentially tearing the skin. Some engage in this practice to achieve a welcomed form of sleep-sex. See SEXSOMNIA. SLING: see SEX SLING. SLOW WORD: the sexual act of falling asleep after intercourse while keeping the penis still inside a partner's vagina, ass, or mouth. This is best achieved with couples sleeping in the fetal position. It is recommended that a lot of lubricant be used to prevent the orifice from drying during sleep and potentially tearing the skin. Some engage in this practice to achieve a welcomed form of sleep-sex. See related GO WORD and TOPPING FROM THE BOTTOM. SMALL PENIS HUMILIATION (SPH): the practice of humiliating a male submissive due to the size of his penis, usually labeling him as inadequate. 
SMART ASS MASOCHIST (SAM): see BRAT. SMELLING SALTS: a pungent substance sniffed as a restorative in cases of faintness or headache, consisting of ammonium carbonate mixed with perfume. When a submissive holds their breath for too long while receiving pain play, it is always possible that the submissive could faint. Having smelling salts around can be a way to revive a person quickly. 
SMOTHERBOX: a box designed to be locked over the head of a submissive and used for queening. The smotherbox has a large opening that allows a dominant to straddle the box and smother the submissive's face with their genitalia. 
SNAKE WHIP: a type of flexible single-tail whip with no firm handle. It has a lash or fall similar to a bullwhip that leads to a cracker; however, there is no spike in the handle to make it rigid. Also, unlike the bullwhip, the snake whip lacks the ring knot that marks where the handle ends and the thong begins. It is long rumored that the whip was created to strike snakes from horseback, but it most likely gets its name because it is more snake-like without the rigid handle. 
SNOWBALLING: the sexual practice in which a person performs oral sex on a man, and then places his semen into another person's mouth, usually by way of a French kiss. This practice is sometimes used by a female dominant to humiliate her male cuckold submissive. 
SODOMY: sexual intercourse involving penetration of the anus. The term sodomy was derived from the Sodom and Gomorrah story from the book of Genesis in the Bible. It is considered a serious sin in many religions. Throughout history, many governments have had sodomy laws which criminalized such sexual practices. Sodomy laws were historically enforced in the U.S., and anal sexual intercourse is still considered deviant sexual behavior by many societies. 
SOFT DOMINANCE: describes the method used to exercise dominance by choosing a softer, gentler approach. A soft dominant usually has a more playful manner, while being nurturing and empathetic, with the objective of making emotional connections with their submissives. Soft dominance can also refer to a dominant who never shows any strong signs of asserting dominance, and instead dominates through light persuasion and inspiration. Sadistic play is not usually associated with the term soft dominance. It is the antonym of hard dominance. See HARD DOMINANCE. SOFT LIMIT: a limit that can be cautiously crossed with express permission given directly before the action. A soft limit is often simply called a limit. Soft limits are different from hard limits. See related LIMIT and related contrast HARD LIMIT. SOMNOPHILIA PLAY: the act of having sexual intercourse with someone who is sleeping or pretending to be sleeping. When such arousal causes a person distress or creates potential harm to another, it is considered a paraphilia, specifically somnophilia. See PARAPHILIA. SOUND: see URETHRAL SOUND. SPACE WHIP: see FIBER OPTIC FLOGGER (LED WHIP). SPANK: to strike a person, usually on the buttocks, with an open hand or a spanking paddle. 
SPANKING BENCH: a low piece of furniture, which a person is bent over and restrained for spanking or flagellation. 
SPANKING PADDLE: see PADDLE. SPANKING SKIRT: a skirt, often made of leather or latex, in which a person’s buttocks are exposed for flagellation or spanking. 
SPECULUM: a medical instrument used to dilate the vagina or anus to allow for inspection. It is often used in medical play or humiliation play. 
SPEED SKATING: a sexual act between three people in which a man has sexual intercourse with two people who are bent over side by side. The man enters one partner briefly, then pulls out and quickly enters the other, repeating the process. 
SPENCER PADDLE: a specific type of paddle with a number of holes drilled into the oblong striking surface. The holes allow air to travel through, preventing air buildup between the paddle and the person being paddled, which creates a heavier impact. These types of paddles were used in U.S. schools until recently. An American schoolteacher in the 1930s named Harold Spencer is allegedly the inventor of this type of paddle. Although the implement may have been popularized by an American teacher, illustrations from the early 1800s depict enslaved people being beaten with a similarly shaped paddle with holes. 
SPIDER GAG: aa specific type of ring gag in which metal extensions are fitted from the ring strapped inside the mouth to keep the mouth and lips open. 
SPIRITUAL BDSM: the belief that BDSM expressions can bring about mental healing and well-being, or a blanket term for all forms of BDSM religious play. Many people who believe in or practice spiritual BDSM tend to separate spirituality from organized theistic religions, adopting more of a New Age approach toward BDSM, sometimes mixing fundamental Christian ideas with Western esoteric traditions and borrowing elements from Indian and Asian religions. The term spiritual BDSM also pertains to a form of meditation practiced before or during an intense, often painful BDSM session to bring about altered states of consciousness and transcendent psychological states. See related RELIGIOUS PLAY, FLYING, and SUBSPACE. SPIT ROASTING: a three-way sex act in which a person performs oral sex on one partner while being penetrated vaginally or anally by another partner. 
SPLOSHING: a sexual practice or fetish in which a person covers themselves or another person with foods of different textures and temperatures. The practice focuses on covering a person's exposed genitalia with food, sometimes eating the food off the body while performing oral sex. A person sitting on a cake until their genitals are completely covered is a common sploshing practice. 
SPREAD EAGLE: a position in which a person is bound with their legs spread apart and their arms stretched above the head. 
SPREADER BAR: an implement consisting of a rigid rod or dowel designed to attach to a person's ankles via cuffs, holding the legs spread apart. Some spreader bars feature adjustable lengths. 
SPREADER CUFFS: a spreader bar with attached leg cuffs. 
SQUICK: an unexpected feeling of sudden repulsion toward a BDSM or sexual act. SSC: see SAFE SANE CONSENSUAL. ST. ANDREW'S CROSS: a popular type of bondage furniture consisting of an X-shaped cross affixed to a frame or a wall, to which a person can be bound for flagellation. The four attachment points for the wrists and ankles bind a person in a spread-eagle position, which is ideal for many types of spanking or flogging. Some versions also feature additional restraint points at the waist. Historically, the X-shaped cross was known as a saltire. It became known as Saint Andrew's cross following a medieval tradition regarding Andrew the Apostle, who, when sentenced to death, allegedly requested to be crucified on an X-shaped cross, feeling unworthy to be crucified in the same manner as Jesus. In BDSM communities, the St. Andrew's cross is also called an X-frame in the United States and a diagonal cross or X-cross in Europe. 
STAG: a man who gains sexual gratification by encouraging or allowing his female partner to engage in sexual relationships with other men without any accompanying humiliation or degradation. The term often describes a confident or dominant partner who supports his female partner's non-monogamous encounters. Originally a swinger term for an unattached male at a gathering, "stag" can also describe any male participant in group sex involving multiple men and one woman. Unlike a cuckold, a stag experiences no shame or humiliation regarding his partner's sexual encounters with other men. See relating contrast CUCKOLDRY. STAG PARTY: a slang or code term for a gangbang. Outside of swinger or BDSM subcultures, a stag party is an all-male gathering, often referring specifically to a bachelor party before a wedding. Because the term "gangbang" has become common vernacular, "stag party" is now seldom used in this sexual context. See relating GANG BANG. STEEL BONDAGE: any form of bondage involving the use of rigid metal restraints. STING (STINGY): a term describing the sensation of sharp, quick pain from an impact, often compared to a biting or scratching feeling. The physical sensations produced by impact play—such as being struck by a whip or flogger—are typically categorized as either a thud or a sting. See relating contrast THUD (THUDDY). STOCKS: a piece of furniture used for bondage, similar to a pillory, consisting of two heavy planks (typically wood) that close around a person's ankles while they sit. Stocks were used historically, especially during the Middle Ages, for public corporal punishment, torture, and humiliation. Today in BDSM, the terms "stocks" and "pillory" are often used interchangeably. See PILLORY. STOCK PROD: see CATTLE PROD. STOCKWHIP: a single-tail whip featuring a long, stiff handle that is separate from the thong, connected by a keeper knot. A stockwhip typically includes a fall attached to a cracker at the end. 
STOCKHOLM SYNDROME: a psychological phenomenon in which hostages or abuse victims develop empathy, sympathy, or positive feelings toward their captors or abusers. This response often stems from traumatic bonding, where a victim misinterprets a temporary absence of abuse or small concessions as acts of kindness. While some critics incorrectly classify BDSM dynamics as forms of Stockholm syndrome or battered-person syndrome, consensual BDSM play, including mock abuse scenarios and 24/7 power exchange, is rooted in explicit mutual consent and boundaries. Unlike true Stockholm syndrome, which involves non-consensual trauma and real coercion, BDSM relationships prioritize safety and agency. Consequently, the term "Stockholm syndrome" refers strictly to genuine, non-consensual abusive contexts and should not be conflated with consensual sexual or power-exchange dynamics. Actual Stockholm syndrome and battered-person syndrome are real problems involving real abuse and should not be confused with BDSM play. The term Stockholm syndrome should be reserved to only describe real abuse. STRAITJACKET: a strong garment, usually made of thick canvas or leather, with sleeves longer than arm length that are tied together behind the back to confine a person's arms. Straitjackets were originally used to restrain violent psychiatric patients. 
STRAP: an implement used for striking, consisting of a long, flat piece of heavy leather or another flexible material. The term strap also refers to any strip of flexible material used for securing or binding in bondage, usually featuring an attached buckle. 
STRAP-IN: a dildo designed to be inserted vaginally or anally and held in place by a harness. STRAP-ON: a dildo attached to a harness designed to be worn around the waist for penetrating a partner. 
STRAPPADO BONDAGE: a specific type of bondage in which a person is bound with their hands behind their back, after which a rope attached to the wrists is pulled upward through an overhead fixture or pulley system, raising the arms and forcing the person to bend forward. This is a physically demanding form of bondage that carries significant risk of injury if attempted without proper experience. 
STUN GUN: a self-defense weapon that delivers a high-voltage electrical charge meant to temporarily disrupt muscle function and inflict pain without causing significant injury. However, like any electro-play, using stun guns can prove to be dangerous, particularly because of the high voltage emitted. While consumer devices vary widely in voltage output, they carry severe risks, including the potential to disrupt heart rhythms, cause cardiac arrest, or result in permanent injury or death. For these reasons, using stun guns, tasers, cattle prods, or any other device emitting high-voltage electricity for BDSM play is strongly discouraged. Despite the inherent hazards, some practitioners engage in this form of edgeplay, which is why it is included in this glossary. All edgeplay carries varying degrees of risk, but stun gun play should be considered extremely high risk. 
SUB DROP: see BOTTOM DROP. SUB FRENZY: a term for a process or state of mind that a submissive, usually new to BDSM, goes through, in which they feel as though their thirst for submissive experiences cannot be quenched. This obsessive behavior can cause the submissive to make poor decisions or unwise choices, often resulting in serious harm. SUBCULTURE: see BDSM COMMUNITY. SUBMISSION: the action and/or emotional embrace of accepting or yielding to the will or authority of a dominant for the purposes of BDSM erotic play. SUBMISSIVE (SUB): a title for a person who assumes the role of submission, submitting to the dominant in a power-exchange relationship. It also refers to a person who surrenders physical and psychological control to a dominant for the purposes of erotic play. It is the opposite of a dominant. SUB-SISTER: see SISTER. SUBSKIN: see LEATHER BUTT. SUBSPACE: a term for the condition or state of mind of a submissive during a deeply involved play session. Deep subspace is often characterized as a state of deep recession and incoherence. Some have described subspace as similar to the feeling one might have directly after an intense orgasm, or as having a feeling of intoxication and extreme well-being. It is thought to be caused by the release of endorphins in the brain. See ENDORPHINS. SUSPENSION (SUSPENSION BONDAGE): any form of bondage in which a person is suspended off the floor with rope or chain. It usually refers to elaborate rope work that suspends a person in the air. Suspension can also refer to body suspension using body suspension hooks. See ROPE SUSPENSION and BODY SUSPENSION. 
SUSPENSION BAR: a bar, similar to a spreader bar, used for suspension. Often, the person is bound to the bar, which is then lifted into the air via a pulley system. SUSPENSION CUFFS: any restraint for the wrists or ankles designed in such a way as to distribute the wearer's weight for suspension. 
SUSPENSION FRAME (SUSPENSION RACK): any upright frame designed for the purpose of suspension. Suspension cannot always be safely secured to a ceiling, in which case a suspension frame is ideal. 
 SUSPENSION HOOKING (SUSPENSION): see BODY SUSPENSION. SUSPENSION HOOKS: see BODY SUSPENSION HOOKS. SUTURING (SUTURE PLAY): the practice of temporarily suturing parts of the body, particularly the genitals, for sexual gratification. See related NEEDLE PLAY. 
SWAPPING: switching partners temporarily for play or sexual purposes. See SWINGERS. SWINE PLAY: a specific type of animal role-play (animalism) in which a person takes on the role of a pig. It is considered a particularly extreme form of humiliation, as such play is often used to mock a person's appearance as overweight or their behavior as dirty. Often, wearing a plastic pig nose and ears is a part of the play, as well as writing with a marker on the submissive that they are a pig. 
SWING (SEX SWING): see SEX SLING. SWINGERS: people engaged in non-monogamous relationships or those who attend swinger parties to engage in sexual acts with partners outside of their committed relationship. The term also refers to the practice in which a couple exchanges partners with another couple, which is sometimes referred to as swapping. See loosely related SWAPPING, also see related POLYAMORY. SWITCH: one who takes on the dual roles of dominant and submissive, switching between the two at different times and/or with different partners. It refers to someone who identifies as being neither strictly dominant nor strictly submissive, and who can transition between both roles naturally. For example, some switches submit to one person while dominating another. See related DOMINANT and SUBMISSIVE. SWITCH (TREE SWITCH or BRANCH SWITCH): the term switch also refers to a freshly cut flexible branch, usually from a willow or birch tree, used for striking. Historically, using a freshly cut tree branch to strike the buttocks of a person was the most common form of corporal punishment practiced by parents on their children, alongside caning. A cane can deliver a similar stinging strike and is more commonly used in BDSM. |